Classmates.com (Not) To Be First Social Network To File IPO

In late November, we shared with you some information about Classmates.com concerning the company’s then-stated intentions to be the first social Web construct to file an IPO.

Well, you can forget everything we said back then, ‘cause…uh…they changed their minds. Yes, apparently they’re not going through with it. We know, we know, quite a surprise. It would’ve been a pretty momentous spectacle, eh? Ah well, the buzz was fun while it lasted.

Wait, you’re thinking. What buzz? And “momentous spectacle?” Come on, that’s just nonsense. Is Classmates even categorically a social network as the term implies today? To be honest, we’re not too sure. Maybe with some fairly technical examination such can be proven true, but it’s certainly a far cry from MySpace and Facebook and all the rest. Which makes us think that, in Classmates’ case, network talk no applicado.

And, more generally still, the closer we look into it, the harder it is to find anything very much impressive about Classmates. Long past its prime, the site is like a musty flared polyester suit to Bebo’s hemp-infused, soy-latte-craving, smartphone-wielding, wind-farm-loving self. Which is probably okay if you happen to still be gung-ho over the Travolta of yore. To each his/her own, we say.

There’s nothing very mysterious about Classmates’ reversal on the IPO front. It seems more or less an acknowledgement of its age. That it’s way past the cool phase, and is now sort of walking along, slower by the day, joints aching – and stubborn in its refusal to upgrade the wardrobe. And we’re sort of glad it’s come to terms with that fact now, rather than later. As much as some people enjoy watching things crash and burn in this here modern, voyeuristic society, it wouldn’t be a very amusing experience watching the company fumble about the public market, loaded down by investments made by eager and naïve investors hoping belatedly to strike gold off the great big Internets, only to squander it all in a few years through a myriad of mistakes.

Besides, would anyone with a decent sense of the full scope of the Web 2.0 sector really want to see the first social tech IPO be something sub-standard as Classmates? Surely not. One should then be glad, and perhaps a bit appreciative, that the company isn’t going down the road after all. Better to save the confetti for something more exciting. Something more forward-thinking.

Alrighty. Back to the drawing board, folks. Who’ll it be for real? Facebook? LinkedIn? A so far silent wonder? Share with us your predictions in the comments below.