Can You Find Your SoulMate 2.0?

In the news this week is a story about dating in the Web 2.0 age. Who knew that one day you'd be able to not only find your mate by using a box on your desk connected to a phone, cable or satellite line, you'd be able to use the box for the actual date as well. Such is romance in the age of Googlebombing, the rise of a computer named after a fruit, gaming and Internet based fame.

The same Internet that brought us computer pimping dating sites like eHarmony, Yahoo! Personals and Match.com is now offering us more ways to have that awkward first date than ever before. Not only are there new ways to go on a date, there are new frontiers in finding people who share your needs and interests. There are even dating sites strictly for the disabled (or differently-abled, as some prefer) and the über religious.

With the rise in popularity of chat rooms and web cams, you don't even have to go to the trouble of planning an entire night of fun or romance. This is dating for the computer age, with no personal contact required at all. It's like online shopping, taken to the next level: spouse shopping.

With the advent of Web 2.0 and the popularity of computers, you can now date via mobile phone with sites like MatchMobile, or speed date with your web cam on sites like Woo Me and SpeedDate. WooMe handles the logistics of the speed date by allowing you to “group date” in video chat rooms with multiple people. SpeedDate sets up a cycle of three minute rapid dating sessions for you via your web cam.

The interesting thing about “dating” online via web cam is how easy it is to make that snap judgement about a person and shut the camera off. On one hand, it allows you to miss those horrible blind date sessions and other dating problems with the simple click of a button. On the other hand, because you can escape so quickly, you don't have any chance to get past a bad first impression and find out if the person is worth knowing.

The other thing Internet only dating is missing is personal contact. As much as we like to think it isn't true, physical attraction and chemistry do play an important part in a relationship's success. I know a handful of people who have made happy marriages out of initial internet contact, and hands down they all had to meet in person to finally know if their love was “real” or not. It is simply impossible to tell from a head shot via web cam from miles away if that person can ring your bell physically or not, or if you will ring theirs.

Sites like Match.com and eHarmony suffer from quality control as well. Many people slip through who are married or engaged, or who are little more than cyber stalkers. A good friend of mine was forced to ban someone's IP from her personal blog after she turned down a date with him on Match.com. Her instincts about him were right - from the moment she said “No” to him he began stalking her online, leaving her scary messages and calling her at her Match.com contact number at odd ours to make very specific threats. Other people without that sixth sense for bad people are often in real trouble with online dating's bad apples.

Is there a future in online dating and online speed dating? Perhaps. The Internet has continued to make the world a smaller and smaller place, and the generation coming up thinks of their computer as just another extension of their life, with real friends inside the box and out. Dating online will be second nature to them. With so much becoming virtual, however; we run a real risk of killing the personal touches in life that make even bad experiences like a poor first date worth while in making us more human.